Last weekend, we made a last minute trip up to North Carolina. Maternity leave was ending, and I was desperate for a beach. DESPERATE. I whined for months. Poor Jason had to hear it every time someone posted a picture of the beach. Which is like, a lot this time of year. Just in case you haven’t been on the internet.
So I drove up to Raleigh with Jude. First real road trip with the baby, and Jason couldn’t join us until a couple days later. Fortunately, he was a champ and whined way less than his dad did about the drive. Hopefully he gets his road-tripping genes from his mama!
There were two things that really struck me this weekend as we beached and hung out with people we love.
It is super cool to share things you love with your kids.
Seriously. It’s awesome, and a perk of parenthood that I never even considered until this week. Yes, my son is still tiny, but even at not-quite-3-months-old. I savored every minute of beach time with him. Getting to watch him experience sand and sun and salt for the first time was SO MUCH FUN. I am so looking forward to years of watching him try things for the first time. It seriously never gets old.
LOOK AT THAT SMILE. It’s perfect.
Watching other people love your kids is even cooler than I imagined.
Watching people that you love fall in love with your kid is something you can’t describe. It’s better than them loving you. It’s better than them loving my husband. My heart grew about 50 sizes this weekend watching kids I’ve known since they were born take turns holding my son.
I remember a friend saying not that long ago that the best way to love her was to love her kids. I don’t think I got it until recently. Walking into church and having him swept away from us is such a great feeling. Not because we don’t have him, but because someone else wants that time to love on him.
It’s seriously the best.
I had so many selfish concerns before he got here. I wasn’t sure I was ready to give up my late nights playing music with my friends. How would it impact our travel? My relationship with my husband? Would I feel stuck or bored? Would I hate the responsibility of caring for someone that needs you for literally everything? I’d imagine I’m not alone in those thoughts, but they’re the kind of thoughts that you don’t want to talk about for fear of being judged. What kind of mother thinks like that?
Probably most of us.
And then I met him and all of those doubts went away. Of course there are still fears and frustrations and uncertainties, but they pale in comparison to the good. The moments that I get to spend showing my son the world. The moments that I get to watch other people love him.
The human heart’s capacity for love is something that just blows my mind.