Imposter

If you’re looking for a way to defeat imposter syndrome, you’re looking in the wrong place. This is how I’m going to try to tackle it. I’ll let you know at the end of the month how this works out for me.

After prisonbreaks, I decided to dive right into my next work. Well, two of them. The heavy work is one I’ve been toying with for A FULL YEAR. I’ve written some pieces of it. I’m not sure if I’ll use any of them.

It’s nonfiction. Somehow this feels even more daunting than putting my raw emotions on paper and asking people to read them. I feel like I am not smart enough or funny enough or eloquent enough to tackle the subject. Why me? Do I know enough? Shouldn’t I let some other expert write it?

I am not an expert on anything.

But at the end of the day, I can’t get this out of my head. There’s something in my brain that is supposed to come out – something that I know I have to say. I sit down and type aimlessly, hoping to find it. I outline things and then delete them. Somehow, it isn’t happening. Maybe I’m not smart enough or funny enough or eloquent enough. Maybe this isn’t the right subject for me.

Except that I know it is. I haven’t found the words, so I’m trying to find the story. Maybe when I have the story, the words will come.